I'm trading my sorrows

The quote that I used for the title comes from a song called "Trading My Sorrows" by Darrell Evans that I used to sing in youth group in high school. I used to think it was kind of corny, but in the past few days, the words have come to me in my mind and really struck me. Here are the lyrics:

I'm trading my sorrow
I'm trading my shame
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

I'm trading my sickness
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying it down for the joy of the Lord

[Chorus]
And we say yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord
Yes Lord yes Lord yes yes Lord Amen

I'm pressed but not crushed persecuted not abandoned
Struck down but not destroyed
I'm blessed beyond the curse for his promise will endure
And his joy's gonna be my strength

Though the sorrow may last for the night
His joy comes in the morning.

What strong faith is needed to be able to turn sorrow into joy. I'm really trying but it's hard to know the joy of Easter when you are stuck in the pain of Good Friday. I'm joining in with Mary's sorrow as she watched her son die before her. I, too, watched as my son slowly died before me, helpless to do anything about it. I feel like this entire Lent has been one long Good Friday for us ever since Peter passed away on Ash Wednesday. But just like Mary, my son saved my life. And her Son saved my life, too.

Catholic tradition holds that after Jesus was taken from the Cross, he was laid in his mother's arms. Oh, I know that pain; I held my dying son in my arms as he took his final breaths and after he passed into Heaven. There is no pain like a mother's pain after having kept him safe in your womb for months and months, suffering the pains of childbirth, and then to not be able to protect him anymore. I cried and cried during the Good Friday service not just for us and our son, but for Jesus and his mother. Those two suffered so much more than we could ever imagine. 

Although I know that I am certainly no Virgin Mary, it helps me to know she is right there with me in my grief. And the Father watched as His only Son was rejected and slain for our sins. I'm in good company. 

PS--I'm starting to feel a lot better on my new diet. Already lost 9 lbs of fluid!